What do you feel? What will you do?
by xofrevlis
Summary: [SuikodenIII]Disliking the ending I saw after seeing what potential existed, decided to write my own version. Hugo and Chris pairing.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own SuikodenIII or any of the characters therein.

Summary: Disliking the ending I saw after seeing what potential existed, decided to write my own version. Hugo and Chris pairing.

Author's Notes: I've read many works but never written one myself before this one. Finally made the step forward after being more than disappointed by the game's ending. Any kind of feedback welcome.

The gang rest for a day at Budehuc castle before heading out to confront Luc in the final dungeon.

I decided to take one last tour of the castle before returning to my chambers to retire for the night... at the second time of asking. The second floor hallway was deserted as I slowly headed towards the stairs. My first attempts at slumber were short-lived to say the least. It annoyed me somewhat given the circumstances of my predicament... as well as those that I am to lead into full-scale combat on the 'morrow.

The sun had long since set, paving the way for the darkness to cover the skies, sending yet another day into the silent, still night. I had come out of the conference room earlier, having finalised our battle plans for tomorrow's last big push. We were all very pumped-up and in good spirits in there. This was probably down to the blathering of my long-winded optimism. The truth was, inside, I felt very different to what I had actually reciprocated in front of the most daunting crowd of my entire life. Yet, it could not be helped.

"Hugo...", hesitated Caesar.

I looked up to see how unusual it was for someone like Caesar to hesitate as he did. He's been around me for some time now and this is the first that I've seen him unable to come straight out with his words. The guy always looked so laid-back; never a hint of seriousness etched onto his face despite the pressure of the occasions. The speech just flowed out of his verbal orifice with cockiness and arrogance to convey that everything was well within his grasp and going to turn out just as he expects to. He may always be a step ahead of everyone else but still, he didn't have to portray himself in such a manner of irritancy.

"When we start the battle tomorrow, we'll be treading unknown lands.", Caesar continued.

I gave him a confused look. "These are our lands though; no-one will be able to take us on our own patch.", I replied.

"That's not what I really meant.", Caesar began again. "The scale of the battle will involve the largest count of men going at each other in arms than any other battle we've had thus far. This is when any outcome is extremely unpredictable. I'd hate to say it myself, but even I don't know what will happen or who will win when the last blow is dealt on the field. The only certainty is that the grass will be stained a crimson red to the extent that it will flow like a river. There's a good chance that the continent and everyone on it will wiped out... cast into oblivion."

I really didn't know what to say at this point. I didn't know which shocked me more; the possibility of such an horrific outcome despite all our efforts or the new front Caesar was showing.

"It's your duty as the leader to be the essence of inspiration to your men.", said Caesar.

"These are the people who are putting all their hopes and aspirations... their beliefs and dreams onto your shoulders.", Apple started. "They're willing to stake their lives and more in you, truly unperturbed that you will help them protect what is most important to each and every one of them."

And with that, I summoned up all the men in front of the castle's main entrance for my final vocal rally. In all honesty, I had already made my mind up to this even before Caesar and Apple's urging words. That was, once I had left the bounds of my bewilderment at the contemplation of what fate should bring us after the battle. I had done the same thing before, a number of times since I inherited the name of Flame Champion. I guess it's really all part and parcel to the job as leader. I've seen this particular custom being played out endlessly while I was growing up during the Grassland-Zexen conflict. I had learned well from mother, sergeant Joe and the late uncle Zepon.

And more recently, there was of course... her. Lady Chris. The Silver Maiden, as she was often referred to as. She may be the youngest out of the six knights of Zexen but her heart and resolve are second to none. She stands undisputedly, atop the summit of the Zexen guard, commanding the respect and loyalty of the entire legion. Throughout my speech, I shifted my eyes around the masses of devoted listeners. It was a normal thing to do as a leader in order to give the impression that my words were aimed towards everyone.. The thing was, on this occasion, my eyes were searching. Searching for her... searching for her angelic features... for that elegant silver hair... those amethyst eyes. But... why am I doing this? Why is it that I want... no, need her to be watching me here?

"She's not here.", I thought.

It wasn't only until the crowd started to mumble that I had broken off my process of scanning the faces of each individual and realised my own subdued state. I had in fact been silent for a brief moment as I longed for more time to continue my pursuit. I hung my head for a few seconds before bringing it up again. With a final line, I pumped my first into the air and, in the same direction, hollered out a battle cry which would have made Hallec proud. My call was met by the deafening roar from the pack, sending out shockwaves that would have been felt as far as Iksay or close enough to it.

When I brought my head back down, I found my stare fixed at the destination I striving to reach. She looked on at me from her position, close to the front lines in middle. She knew where my gaze was focusing at. And when she beamed back a small, but sincere smile, the sounds of my heart beating inside me progressively became clearer and clearer even through this noisy rabble. I felt the warmness flow up from my body and to my face and couldn't help but let out a grin to highlight my determination.

I think I'm starting to understand why now. Why I need you to be watching me. I felt that the reason was somewhere close to me before but could never fully comprehend it. But I now admit that I used to only look at things from one angle, refusing to contemplate any other one... or maybe I was just denying it all along. Two very different reasons, born from two dissimilar opposing emotions. But all the same, they both come down to this. Look at me, Lady Chris. I am no longer the barbarian child that you had me down for when our paths first crossed. You are one more reason why I must be victorious tomorrow, and survive... as should you... until our paths make their way through each other, one last time.

After the men dispersed, I headed back into the castle. I had barely taken a step through the main doors when I heard a voice calling to me.

"Great job out there, Hugo.", the voice said half-heartedly.

I turned to my left to see Caesar leaning against the wall next to the castle doors; arms folded and eyes closed. Damn... did he see right through me just then?

"Oh, it's you. Thanks." I replied, with no more conviction in my words than he used.

"Hey, I mean it... it's just that I'm not used to doing the praising when nearly all of it was reserved for me for as long as I remember."

"..."

"Anyway, you should head up and get some rest soon. You'll be at the centre of attention tomorrow so you'll need every ounce of strength to be with you."

"I plan on going now. If there's nothing else then I'll be retiring for the night."

"Are you sure there isn't something else you need to do? The sun hasn't even fully set yet."

I turned and started to walk towards the stairs but stopped in my tracks after two steps.

"..."

"..."

"...Caesar"

"Hmm?"

"About what you said in the conference room earlier... you know... tomorrow."

"Oh, that... what about it?"

"Is the outcome of tomorrow's battle really in the balance?"

"Nope."

"I se... huh? It's not?"

"Nah... we'll win."

"But you said-"

"I've changed my mind. We'll win for sure!", he confidently said, accompanied by a stupid-looking grin. "Think about it... the crazy trio no longer have the support of the Harmonian army now that Bishop Sasarai has sided with us. The best they can do is use the sorceress' magic to control monsters, although of vast quantities, we've seen before the sort of strain it puts on her. They won't be able to hold out for long periods with such tactics."

"But what about Albert's information? Couldn't it all be a trap?"

"Unlikely. I know for sure that he doesn't share the same interests as Luc or the other two. He's always just focused his sights on the ranks of Harmonia, and now that the parties have become detached, there's no gain for him to lead us to our deaths and have the entire continent obliterated."

"... Why didn't you tell me about all this earlier?"

"It was to get things moving. Things, as in your mouth. I was trying to get you to open up in the state of desperation and I think it worked really well for your rallying call. I would have waited even later to tell you, but since you said that you were going to turn in now there was no point in hiding it anymore."

"What difference would it have made if I decided not to sleep now?"

"That would depend on what you used that time for."

"If you have something to say, spit it out!"

"Isn't there one more person you want to see and talk to?"

I felt the depths on an icy hell freeze over me from my feet up at this point. I couldn't move to avoid the question... nor could I move to say anything to retort his claims.

"Tha-that's none of your business!", I feebly mustered up.

"I can't force you to do it... but it really would be a shame if anything happened to either of you before you could open up."

Caesar pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on and made his to the main doors of the castle. His back was now facing me as I spoke again

"...You don't fully understand it all... what I feel is not as straight-forward as you think it is."

"In truth, not only do i not fully understand it... I don't understand it in the slightest. I'm a military strategist, not a psychic. It was only because you were bold enough to so blatantly stare at her out in the open for such a long time that I had my suspicions. Hell, I bet I'm not the only one who realised it either. Just make sure that you do go and talk to her. Wouldn't want you to be carrying regrets as you take your first step onto the battlefield now, would you?"

And with that, he raised his right hand so that it was level with his head, and gently flicked his wrist backwards as he made his way out of the castle.

"See ya tomorrow", he ended our conversation with.

I stood on that spot for a brief moment, contemplating what he said. And then I thought to myself-

"How the hell am I supposed to get any decent rest now? Spirits, when Caesar's time comes, make sure you give him a rough ride before putting his soul to rest."

I swung my body round on my toes, darted up the stairs and into my chambers. I refuse to be seen by anyone right now after that speech fiasco.

Author's Notes: I swear, when I started out, I never intended for the piece to be so long-winded. Just that the more I wrote, the more I felt the need to keep adding stuff into it. There was supposed to be some Chris in this chapter but I guess it'll be reserved for the next. I didn't realise how long it took me either… about four hours for me to do just this.

I plan on giving this piece another two or three chapters. The Hugo and Chris quiet time chapter, the duel chapter and then it depends how I'll feel then.

Any sort of review would be nice.

xofrevlis


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Alright, I've decided which direction I want to go in regarding the relationship between Hugo and Chris. Otherwise, there's not really anything else to say about what you're about to read.

I was approaching the bottom of the stairs to the castle. I had never been awake at this time of night, let alone aimlessly roaming the corridors which usually bustled with fine warrior spirit by light of day. Yet now, there was not a soul in sight and the silence was somewhat unnerving to me. It just seemed so unnatural to be this quiet. Back in the Grasslands, there was always a bit of noise in the background; it served to me as clarification that things were normal. I asked for some sort of acknowledgement of my presence by way of my resounding footsteps, only for them to be answered by the lonely echoes the castle walls projected back at me.

But for the fact that there were dimly lit fires on the castle walls, I would have had trouble making my way around. I looked slightly to my left as I came off the last step and reached the ground floor. I barely made out the frame of the window which I knew was situated at that certain spot. The splints must have finished burning in that particular vicinity of the establishment. It's darkness radiating through the window sent that region into total blackness. I let out a sigh and turned my head back to the centre so that I was facing the doors of the foundation.

I made my way towards the exit when my left ear twitched upon hearing a faint sound from the general direction I had momentarily looked at just a moment earlier. I couldn't distinguish the origin of this noise; it was too languid from where I was to be able to analyse. I took a still-burning splint which was hanging off the wall next to the doors and slowly proceeded towards what had erected my curiosity.

As I neared the source of my intrusiveness, the sound was now apparent to me that it was the slow-paced and controlled breaths of a living being. I drew closer to the source and the silhouette of a person's figure started to materialise in front of me. The long red garments of her trim accompanied with a white apron were now apparent as I was now but a couple of paces away from her slender frame.

For fear of waking anyone up from their much needed slumber, I kept my voice down to a mere whisper.

"Shizu?" I began. "What are you still doing up at this hour?"

No reply. Not even an attempt to form any sort of coherent answer as I focused closely on her lips, anticipated her response.

"Hey, Shizu..." I started again. "Can you hear me?"

Again, not a hint of a reaction to my enquiries. Her eyes were open but there was something about them that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I brought my face closer to hers and... well... it was hard to describe what I saw as I looked into those eyes. It was kind of like a vacancy that I had never seen from her, or indeed anybody else's eyes before for the matter. I raised my hand directly in front of her line of sight and waved it about a little. No effect. Just the continued, passive breathing sounds which came along with the repetitive inwards-outwards movements of her chest. I closed my eyes and bowed my head slightly. A weak smile inadvertently etched across my face.

"They're all working so hard," I thought to myself.

I broke free from my state of contemplation and entered the elevator, turned around and looked at the panel in front of me. Scanning the many buttons presented before me, a slight doubt was cast over my mind.

"Much blood will be spilt in tomorrow's battle... I'm certain of it," I thought out loud, regret in my tone. "Can I really carry everyone's hopes on my shoulders... even should they lay their lives down for the cause?

Multiple scenarios began to run through my mind in the perspective of many of my colleagues. I had never stopped browsing around the panel, shifting the focus of my eyes from button to symbol and back again. I don't know how much time passed in my attempts to justify the reasons for my men to put their beliefs in me to realise their dreams. As my sights then locked onto the large button at the top of the panel, the attention of my inner scrutiny reverted to my own self. A brief moment elapsed. I let out a small laugh as I reached my own conclusion.

"Of course. If by giving my life I can protect what is most important to me, then what regrets can I possibly have?" I gathered.

"Now... how does this machine actually work?"

I always felt uncomfortable at the ride this particular mechanism offered. Every time the doors closed, the sometimes heavy sometimes light sensation I felt made me feel somewhat out of place. When the doors reopened, the cold stone walls presented themselves to me as they ran forward along either side of the narrow hallway. Even though I couldn't be certain which floor that I had arrived at, I still stepped out hastily to rid myself of the discomfort I was experiencing in that tightly closed environment.

It was certainly brighter along this corridor than it was in the main expanses of the castle. I suppose it's because these particular areas are starved of natural sunlight, prompting the need for more fire torches. I continued my advance in the forwardly direction until the unwavering stone wall blocked me off, forcing me to turn to my right.

"Ah right..." I said.

This was the place where Kidd set up his workstation to facilitate his investigations. I glanced briefly at all the books piled up around the former-prison cell as I walked past and headed for the door that is the lower-western exit of the fortress. I made my exit from the confines of the vast mansion. I was starting to feel a little agitated at the enclosed surroundings it had provided but this had already begun to recede.

"Wow... it's quite bright down here," I commented as I looked around at the environment the strong moon beamed down at.

It was a view which illuminated tranquillity, abolishing my earlier discomfort completely. The light winds brushing against the greenery, giving rise to the soft rustling sounds sent me into a calming state of peace. This was one of my most appeasing environments. Closing the door behind me, I shut my eyes and opened my mouth a little to suck in a deep breath.

"Can't sleep either?" a voice called out.

What was supposed to be my slow exhalation in reverse fashion of my inhaling came out in the form of coughs and spluttering from the shock I received.

"Who is it?" I nervously barked out as I opened my eyes and turned towards the origin of my alarmist.

My widened eyes were narrowed down as their focal point as the two conflicting emotions once again welled up inside me and threatened to boil over. There sat on one of the outer tables of Mamie's restaurant: Captain of the six knights of Zexen; the Silver Maiden that was Chris Lightfellow.

"Would you mind joining me?" she asked, voice void of feeling.

I took a moment to answer. I needed this to compose myself, lest I succumb to my competing inclinations. Walking down the steps and moving towards where she sat, I maintained my focus on her. Her appearance was slightly different to what I was usually accustomed to. She was completely out of her battle armour, dressed only in her tunic and leggings; matched with gloves and greaves. She had took her hair out of the braid, letting the gentle breeze take it into their brief but multiple strides. I elected to sit next to her on the same bench-seat; it probably wasn't a good idea to sit opposite and look directly at her at this point in time.

Not a word was shared in the initial moments. Honestly, I couldn't find an opener to converse. Neither of us turned away from our direct lines of vision.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" she started. "Can't imagine night watch being amongst your daily routines."

I felt my brow twitch a little at that remark.

"I could say the same thing for you," I retorted.

"As a knight of Zexen, we accepted that thorough rest was one of many things which were deprived of us in the duty to our people and country."

"I think I understand. The same situation occurred with the older men in our village too."

"Were you intending to follow the same path when you grew older?"

"I have already set foot on that path. My mother is the chief of our clan and I am expected to succeed her position one day after all. I am expected to take over mother's duties when she steps down from her position; become protector of my people and lead us to glory with the other clans of the Grassland against the evil-doers that are the Zexan Ironheads ."

"I see... Do you still hold that intention?"

I had to think to myself about this question. From my acknowledgement as the new Flame Champion to this day, I had never really considered what I would do when things went back to the old Grasslands-Zexan conflicts. The thought of reviving the rivalry between the two sides was un-wanting after seeing both parties in harmony working towards the same goal. Could the conflicts continue even after this?

"I can't say," I replied. "I fully expect mother to carry on with her role after our confrontation with Luc anyway, so any intention I have would not matter."

"I would like to know regardless," she said as she turned her head towards me.

"What? What does it to you what I want to do anyway?" I asked, turning my head to meet her stare.

"I need to know how you feel about m-... us... as Zexans. Are we still the heinous Ironheads that you had taken us for?"

I turned my head back in line with the rest of my body. I knew from her manner that she was being cryptic with her inquisition. There was no reason why this battle-hardened knight would want to question the motives of any living threat to her duty. If there was a being that openly presented itself as a possible danger to where her loyalties laid, she would strike it down without a moment's hesitation. But I knew what she was trying to get at and her reasons for it. I turned to face her again.

"You really want to know?" I asked.

"Yes," sounding sure in her reply.

"Fine. But you'll have to tell me your reasons for wanting to know... your real reasons. Don't try to hide anything from me like you attempted when you asked the last question. If I suspect the slightest hint of deception then I have nothing more to tell you. You understand what I'm saying?"

Chris opted to mull over my conditions over by turning away from me, her hands threaded together on top of the table and fingers slightly fidgety. Can't say if the expression I have on me right now is serving as some form of distraction to her dilemma or not. But she eventually reverted to position she held before to face me once again.

"Agreed. But I want you to follow the same conditions too," she stated with resolve. "Comply and I will too. I give you my word and stake my honour on it as a knight."

"Agreed," I answered without indecision. "At this point, I guess there isn't need to hold anything back from each other. After tomorrow, we might not get another chance to interact like this... or by arms."

"You can't accept your death just by way of uncertain times!"

This outburst of Chris' took me by surprise to some degree. Feeling the rising heat in my face, I had to look away. I couldn't hold my poker-face any longer either. I need to regroup and compose myself if I'm going to be true to my words and do this right. Bringing my head back in line with the rest of me, I etched out what I thought would have been a confident and determined smile across my face.

"I'm not accepting death at all... be it mine, yours or anyone else's," I started. "I don't want to die and I have no intention of dying when I step into battle tomorrow. I don't want you, mother, Sergeant Joe or anyone else here to die when there is such justification in our goals. However, if anything does happen to me then the spirits will guide me to my eternal rest, where I will have no... sorry... but one regret."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see her turn her head back in line with her body as well, bowing her head a little... a hint a sadness to her face.

"It's about your friend I slew... isn't it?"

"Yes"

"Can you tell me what you feel for me... and what you will do if we both make it beyond this pandemonium?"

"..."

"Please, Hugo..."

"I was brought up in a place where there were two significant distinguishables. The black and white, if you like. They were me... and you, if you will. As a Grasslander, I was always taught our Karayan clan and the five others were the good of this world. Guided by our spirits, we lived in harmony between ourselves. And then there were you Zexans; the Ironheads. The very source of why we had conflict in this world. I grew up to believe that all of you were excrement that had polluted the peace and order of our beautiful world. It was a case of us; the good, trying to defend ourselves and rid you; the evil."

I took another glance out the corner of my eye. Her eyes were shut and wore a seemingly downcast expression. I turned to face her... and with a broad grin, spoke, "But I know that I was wrong... definitely wrong."

Her eyelids released those amethyst jewels out of their captivity before turning to face me in a wide-eyed stare.

I continued, "I was wrong to think of everything in this world as simply back and white. I'm sure that's how I had started to feel like this for some time, but only recently been able to accept. I now know that sometimes, you have to search for the middle ground, the grey areas which exist between the two boundaries."

I found it essential to display my full sincerity with my next lines. I inched just that bit closer to Chris, raised my hand up and rested it firmly onto her shoulder. I looked directly into the limitless depths of those radiant eyes.

"You are Chris Lightfellow; captain of the renowned six knights of Zexen. A loyal solider who turned her back on freedom to dedicated herself to her people and country. Your honour and integrity emanates side by side with your determination to commit yourself to what you truly believe as justice. As the spirit of the Flame Champion is my witness, that is how I truly feel about you."

I maintained my gaze into those eyes. I couldn't remove myself from them for many a reason. Time seemed to pass relentlessly, or maybe it had come to complete stop as I found myself totally lost, disoriented by those priceless treasures. And then, her eyelids suddenly came down to envelop her eyes before going back up instantaneously. A brief second had not yet passed when she blinked again... all the time becoming more frequent with smaller time intervals between each one. She was fighting profusely against the fluid that had begun to well up in her eyes. She found it to be futile... and could fight it no longer. She clamped her eyes shut, displaying the contracted muscles just over her eyes and tilted her head down, resounding intermittent sobs.

She was crying.

What started out as soft whimpers had gradually developed into full-blown wails. My mind was racing... hopelessly trying to figure out a means to stemming this awkward situation I thought I had cruelly been befallen. By way of words, I could have done nothing... I had no idea what I had said to upset her so. The only thing I could do was through action. I shuffled up towards Chris as close as I could before opening up my arms and bringing her body towards mine in a slightly edgy embrace. Mother always did the same thing to me when I was feeling the same way, ever since I could remember. Even now, as a warrior of Karaya, the successor to the Flame Champion nonetheless, she would treat me the same way. It fills me with embarrassment... yet, it remedises the toxic that is my disdain. It made me feel like everything was alright... that she was shielding me with her warmth, exorcising the troubles from my mind. I'm sure that deep down, inside, despite your retaliations and look of discontent, you felt the same way too with your mother... Right, my friend?

My head was now directly adjacent to that of Chris'. My mind was no more the calmer for the matter. I rested my chin onto her shoulder as she buried her face into mine. I daren't turn my head towards her, lest I bury my face into the side of her head. The frenzy of the situation served as distractions to my senses. I had not realised when it was that Chris wrapped her arms around my waist until the progressive tightening of her hold was starting to affect my breathing. But thankfully, her cries had subsided with time... until they could no longer be heard. A semi-strong gust of wind blew over us from the side, causing Chris' hair to reach up and drape across my face.

I inadvertently inhaled... vividly, at that... and she noticed; she had to. But I'll tell you one thing. The fragrance her hair released rang inside me every time she entered my consciousness to this moment.

At that instant, she hastily detached herself from my now damp shoulder, moving beyond an arm's reach away from me.

"I apologise... for my sudden outburst," she said with instability in her voice.

She was quirky. Her head was kept down and didn't know where to look. The lack of lighting made it difficult for me to distinguish... but I thought I saw a hint of some colour; a shade of scarlet drawn across those pale cheeks of hers.

I wasn't faring any better. I'm sure of it. Through lack of visual clarity and the complexion of my skin, the colour should be masked from any sort of observation as I felt the heat radiating all around my face. But I can hear my heart beat so loudly that I feared that Chris' suspicions were aroused.

"Hu-uhm!" I cleared my throat.

I straightened my seating position to face the table and rested my arms on it.

"Shall we continue this talk?" I asked.

"Ye-yeah," she replied as she slowly resumed her position at the start of the night.

"It's your turn to tell me your thoughts."

"I had you down as another common barbarian in the making the first time I saw you. The sheath of my sword covers the many lives of your kind that have fallen... cut down by my cold, steel blade. And you would one day follow the same abrupt halt in your life when you became old enough to join the soldiering ranks."

"And now?"

"What can I say? You're the heir to the position of chief to one of the mighty Grassland clans. You've inherited the name of the previous Flame Champion, uniting both sides despite the many years of conflict to work together towards like ambitions. Everyone here look to up and aspire to you... me included, and we firmly believe that you will deliver onto us our very hopes and dreams. Your words to us as your followers, to me as a soldier... and as a woman have displayed maturity far beyond the wisdom of your tender years. You are our inspiration and a fine warrior... and we will follow you to the ends of the world if we have to."

"..."

"This is how I feel about you."

"... I think you've misunderstood something," I stated as I felt my body tense up.

"...What do you mean?"

"It should be the man who makes his name, not the name that makes the man."

"..."

"Your inspiration... the one to place all your hopes and dreams on... All this is brought on by the title of Flame Champion. There would be no such recognition, never mind following had the true fire rune been destined for an alternate soul. Commanding the respect of all my men and have them follow me wherever I go... I've done nothing to deserve it! Barking out these rallying calls and leading you all... I've no right to do it... none at all."

"Then why have you done for us what you have? You haven't shirked the slightest under the responsibility that your title has brought on, so why are you saying such things about yourself?"

"What else could I have done?" I responded as I turned to Chris, anger and frustration surfacing.

"Hu... Hugo..."

"I proud to be the Flame Champion... and honoured that I have such devoted followers. But underneath it all, I just feel so fake."

Chris studied the anguish carved on my face for a fleeting moment before turning back to face the table.

"I understand how you feel," she began. "When it comes down to hypocrisy, few can rival me."

The tension in my face began to dissipate and became perplexed as I waited for her to continue in eager anticipation.

"You praise me with high words, including honour and integrity when deep down, I'm no more than a two-faced coward. The renowned Silver Maiden... swearing by a knight's oath to serve and protect my people and my country."

She looks swings her head back towards me... portraying her inner suffering with her features.

"The very same Silver Maiden who gave the order to burn down your village."

I couldn't maintain my focus on her at the dawn of her revelation. I turned back and hung my head... staring vacantly at the table. There was a lot of things I had to suppress at that moment in time. But I knew that if I drew the conclusions myself, then I would have been no different to when I looked at things in only black and white.

"What was your objective? What purpose did it serve to do such a thing to defenceless people?" I asked, barely more audible than a whisper.

Chris frowned as she spoke.

"I did it to save my men," she replied. "It was the day where we met the leaders of the clans of the Grasslands to discuss a treaty in order to impose a cease fire between the two sides. We were ambushed; many of my knights were slaughtered. In our efforts to free those who were trapped by the vast armies, we headed towards your village and set it in flames as a means of creating a distraction, giving our men the opportunity to flee."

Her voice started to tremble.

"That was when I killed him. That was when I killed your friend."

A silence fell upon us. Even the wind seemed to have stopped rustling the leaves on the trees. She wouldn't say anything more... I could say nothing else. Peering over at her, the distress of her publication clearly caught up to her emotionally. I confidently predicted the flow of waterworks to follow if we stayed like much longer. But what should I do? Do I comfort her or berate her? I momentarily switched perspectives before reaching my conclusion.

Reaching up to her shoulder once again, I gave her a distinct shake to grab her attention.

"Hey... are you okay?" I asked with a smile.

"H-huh?" was the only response she managed as she set into a state of hiccups.

"Look... I know what you did was only out of desperation to avoid the impending annihilation of your men. Don't worry about it... It wasn't an easy decision to make and it's an even harder thing to live with. Had it been the other way round, I would have done the same thing."

"But I took that boy's life!"

"..."

"I killed him in cold blood!"

"Did you really?"

"Huh?"

"In war, there's no such thing as taking a life in cold blood... Sergeant Joe taught me that. If you raise your weapon intending to take a life, you've got to expect your life to be taken as well. To kill or be killed. That is the truth about war. You had no choice. You didn't do anything wrong."

"What are you saying? How can you acknowledge acts of such travesty?"

"..."

"How can you forgive me for such a terrible deed?"

"I don't."

"..."

"Then... why did you comfort me with such words?"

"Like I said, you've done nothing wrong."

"...You make little sense... You clear me of any wrong-doing, yet you still blame me?"

"That is correct."

"..."

"This is like the middle ground; the grey areas between black and white that I told you about earlier. You did what you had to do and in my eyes, no-one can label you an evil-doer. Yet I still blame you... not because you were at fault, but rather the problem is with me."

Her expression showed confusion and concern as she tried to grasp this concept.

I continued, "I... can't overcome my inner obstacle. I have to live with the image of you taking away my best friend for the rest of my life... yet I am compelled to absolve you of responsibility."

"Why? It would be so much easier for you to condemn my actions and seek your vengeance. You can hate me all you want, but... but... Why do you have to make yourself suffer so needlessly?"

"..."

"Tell me... please."

"I do hate you; but I'm also very fond of you."

She was lost for words. The astonishment she was displaying told me that there wasn't going to be any form of a coherent reply to my boldness anytime soon. Bringing a hand close to her mouth, she hung her head once more... light sounds not too dissimilar to her previous sobs started to build up.

"I know you're probably thinking this is so ludicrous. That's the way I felt for while before accepting the reality of it all."

Timidly, she enquired, "What could I possibly have done to deserve such... such... fortune?"

"I meant everything I said when you asked me how I truly felt about you. If everyone realises what I do, I'm sure they'd feel no different either."

This time, it was Chris who took the initiative as she allowed herself to topple into my embrace, resting the side of her head onto my chest and nuzzling her fringe into my chin. I'm not certain, but I think a smile crept out of her angelic features.

She sniffed a little before saying, "You know... I thought you were really cool when you gave your speech earlier today."

"Funny... I had that scene down as one of my memories to forget."

The dark blue tone of pre-dawn began to colour its way into the sky. The light gusts of wind made their way back to rustle the greenery once more, this time accompanied by the chirping sounds of the birds.

"You know..." Chris started. "You haven't answered my second question."

"..."

"What will you do? What's going to happen to you... me... and us...?"

"I don't want to say."

"You promised to tell me the truth, remember?"

"I want to give it a chance."

"Hmm?"

"I want to try to conquer my psychological conflicts and overcome this obstacle of mine. Right now, I really don't know if I want to love you or... kill you more. If I can defeat my inner demons then I can finally move on... with you; together."

"...What will happen if you are unable to vanquish them?"

"Then I... I..."

"Be honest to me..."

"I'll... most likely come to claim your life."

At the instant I detected a slight twitch in Chris' body, the obvious slackening of my embrace over her followed suit. I was sure that her next step was to distance herself from me physically, like she most probably already have in her mind. Yet it was like as if she was inviting danger upon herself when she decided to burrow even deeper into my cradle. I followed her lead and my arms were restored to their prior positions around her body, bringing her as close to me as possible.

"I understand, Hugo. I want to give myself the opportunity to at least try and get past my very own obstacle too."

"Your obstacle?"

"Guilt. I want to try and redeem myself to the extent that I will finally feel able to remove this heavy baggage from my shoulders."

"I see... Even though we're so different from each other, fate has managed to arrange such a similar emotional journey for us to walk down."

"Yes."

"..."

"Hugo."

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for opening up to me like you did. It doesn't matter which path you choose to take at the end. I'll be waiting for you, whatever you decide... because I can count on you to be honest and follow what your heart tells you."

I tilted my head down, ploughing my face into her exquisite platinum hair. For the second time tonight, I drew in a deep breath, taking in the intense aroma that sent me into a delirium, helplessly disoriented. I thought I was never coming out of my daze; I didn't want to. But I was summoned back into the unforgiving shackles of the harsh reality when a fist to my gut brought out the wind in me.

I lifted my head off hers just enough to see her partly outstretched arm retracting back towards her body. Sneering down, I cocked my index finger onto my thumb before bringing my hand up between her eyes. Releasing the safety catch that was my thumb, my index finger flicked across the tip of Chris' nose, causing her head to jerk a little.

"H-hey!" she exclaimed as she looked up.

"You ever seen one of these sunrises before? I'll tell you about Jimba while we watch the sun paint the skies with the scintillating colours on its palette."

"About father?"

"Yeah. Wanna hear?"

She took her position with her head beneath my chin for the final time and closed her eyes.

"I'm listening," was all she said in her peaceful state.

I was all but about to begin my document of the father Chris had yearned for so long when some form of acute, yet gentle pressure was applied for just an instant on my shoulder.

"Hmm..." I thought out loud. "I hope this isn't some sort of bad omen for the battle."

"What is it?" she asked.

"By the looks of it... bird faeces."

The lengthy giggles that Chris made no attempt to suppress left me bemused.

Author's Notes: Bloody hell... I had my intended material in my head, yet the more of it typed out, the more new stuff popped into my head, making me feel compelled to add it. I swear, I'm sure the original quantity was supposed to be less than half of what you see as the finished article for this chapter. Is this going to happen all the time? I mean yeah, you're always going to develop new ideas along the way but the extent seems rather extreme to me.

I think this chapter racked up about close to ten hours of my time. What a way to spend your Easter, huh?

There next chapter will be the makings of the duel and duel itself. It might take some time though because after so much scripting, I feel well and truly knackered.


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